People, Thoughts, and Places

It is easier for me to believe that you never had feelings for me
Because it would hurt more if I acknowledge that you did
Maybe deep down, I believe that you did
But in the end, it wasn’t enough

If I tell myself your love was never there
I’d save myself the heart ache that I cannot bear
To admit your feelings would tear my soul
And leave a gap that cannot be made whole

But I can’t lie that your feelings weren’t there
I felt all your love and tender care
But I guess what hurt me most
Was losing me to you was easier than facing your fears

So I faced mine
Letting you go felt like the biggest crime
I spoke to you with laughs and smiles
When deep down I wanted to cry

The tears flowed
A reminder of my love for you that can’t grow cold
I wanted us to part, and leave you without pain
But the truth is I am not okay

I know I will be fine
But eventually is a long time
Your last memory of me was with a smile
But through that night, all I did was cry.

I hate that I paid the price
Of someone else’s pain that was inflicted on you
Truth be told I was willing to take away your pain
But you held on to it and that pushed me away.

I am not okay
I am trying so hard to be fine
I wanted you to hold on to me so tight
But you chose your pain and gave me away.

Please come back to me
If you’re truly mine, please chose peace
I want to be with you over and over again
But that isn’t possible if you’ve built an alter around your pain.

Yeah, Roses are red
And sunsets are blue
But one thing that is plain as day
Is that I am not okay.

© Omotunde 01/05/2024